Car signs

For quite a while now I've thought that it'd be great to have a sign, or set of signs, that you could display to other drivers whilst on the road. This would be a more sophisticated aid to communication amongst drivers than the existing horn, blinkers, and hand gestures. If a certain situation arose, you could - "flick" - display the sign, and so communicate your intentions (or other) to other road-users.

I am very much aware of the fact that this tool could lead to the increase of road-rage. Regardless, I press on.

The other day while driving to work, Alison mentioned this to me - it had come to her independently - and we began to discuss the top five signs that we would use. Unfortunately, my drop-off in College St came up too quickly and the conversation was never finished. But two things were clear:

• Most were not printable


• With one or two notable exceptions, they were generally all a variation of the one theme

Regardless, once again, I press on to present our list of top five signs, in no particular order. I should point out that they would, in practice, contain vastly different text that this list.

1. I am terribly sorry, my fellow travellers, for the mistake I have just made.


2. Sir. Your blinkers do not appear to be working, as you have changed lanes many, many times without me seeing them appear. Perhaps I can recommend a mechanic?


3. I was not aware that the law had been changed to allow [for instance] U-turns across six full lanes of traffic moving at speed. Please forgive my ignorance.


4. You are travelling with much haste and abandon. Good luck with your wife's childbirth/fireman's duties.


5. You appear sir, to be travelling quite close, and so obviously wish to be introduced. I apologise for my rudeness in ignoring you.

So what do you reckon?