Thursday, July 29, 2010

A Mother-to-Son communications interface

Alison has had laryngitis for a few days now.

While many blokes would reckon I am sure that the peace and quiet during this time would be bliss, I can assure you that things like spousal nagging do not necessarily decrease just because she can't speak. It just takes other forms. Also since Jude is just coming up to 18 months old, and has all the energy of a New Years fireworks display, I have been expected to provide the constant verbal discipline that he needs.

And I have also assumed the role of translator between her and Jude. My wife has a new language that involves hand movement, occasional grunts or humming, and head movement amongst other things. Since I am a bit of a linguaphile, I'd like to share just a few examples of this wondrous form of communications.

Alison's non-verbal cues - My verbal response/translation

  • Pointing at her feet - "Jude. Come here and get your shoes on, mate."
  • Holding her hand in front of her mouth like a duck bill and opening and closing it - "Jude. Take the book out of your mouth, please."
  • Pointing at Jude and making a circle around her face - "Jude. Come and get your face cleaned mate."
  • Grunting and shaking her fist at her son - "Jude. Have you been a bad boy for Mummy?"
  • Holding her hand in front of her mouth like a duck bill and opening and closing it - "Jude! Sit back down and finish your dinner!"
  • Using her thumb and forefinger to make spectacles over her eyes - "Jude. Stand back from the telly please, mate."
  • Tapping her wrist and pointing her thumb over her shoulder - "Jude. Time for your bath!"
  • Miming two-finger typing - "Jude! Stop pressing buttons on the DVD player!"
  • Holding her nose - "Jude. Have you done a poo?"
  • Holding her hand in front of her mouth like a duck bill and opening and closing it - "Jude. Time for your medicine."


Obviously, you'll agree that with a few of these, the context provides the hint to the translation.