Monday, September 13, 2004

Mistakes, mistakes

For some reason, fate chose last weekend to be the weekend where everyone ganged up on me about the mistakes on my website. Which is good in a way, at least if someone else can see the error forest that I can't see for the HTML trees, then they'll get fixed eventually.

One young lady even took me to task for starting every Blog entry with "So, I was walking down the road..." or "So, there was this bloke throwing up in the street..." Apparently I write like I talk. If it wasn't for the fact that she sometimes cooks dinner for me then I'd probably take offence. Nah, I'm lying here. No chance of taking offence from her whatsoever.

Of particular note was the error in the caption of the picture on the front page. Link here. Apparently, it is Little Kev in this shot, not Beefa. I was fooled by the bald head, not remembering that Little Kev shaved to become a Beefa apprentice that week.

And to answer the question: Little Kev is inspecting the setup for a run of Ooh Ah Dancing. This is a curious little sport, where the object is to carefully place as many twenty-cent coins as possible in a cup placed about five metres away. For males, the coins are "loaded" into (cough, cough) folds of skin in the areas between the small of the back and the crotch. Little Kev was my loader on this occasion. For females, the coins are loaded into any available crevice between their neck and sternum. If one exists. (For further reference, please consult the Nork Scale).

You have the choice of "self-loading" or choosing an independent "loader". I choose Little Kev here for his fine but firm touch and expertise.

Once the coins are loaded, you have to (somehow) walk the five metres to where the cup is placed, and deposit the coins in it by "firing" them. This is not an easy task, let me tell you. You need exceptionally fine muscle control to make everything release simultaneously. People with superb control can sometimes fire directed salvos.

The winner is the person who is able to place the largest number of coins in the cup. There are separate categories for men and women, as women are able, due to the location of the coins, to crouch over the cup, and are therefore more accurate. Men have to drop them from some distance. A bit like the difference between high-level and dive-bombing. Some male salvos have been known to break the cup!

Fortunately, this activity is performed clothed — or unfortunately in the case of women. I believe in Ancient Greece, this sport was performed naked. I predict it won't be long before this sport, once again, is entered into the Olympics. Hopefully then, I'll have the opportunity of representing my country. With Little Kev loading, of course.

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