...you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark

Ali and I went to see James Morrison and Emma Pask at The Basement on Saturday night. Very good concert. Very crowded.

At half-time, she scoots off to the loo. As does 300 other wine-fueled females. I watched her stand in the line for five or six minutes before she disappeared inside finally to sit down on a warm seat.

I always had this theory that men and women are essentially different - not this Mars and Venus stuff - but really different. And it all stems from toilet arrangements.

When men go to the toilet, they stand up at the urinal, have a quick G'day, maybe a quick chat about how drunk they are, etc. Women go into their own little private cubicles and only chat on the way in and the way out. I reckon the fact that men have it all hanging out there makes them easier-going or something.

So my invention is this: A women's toilet where some of the cubicle side walls are half-height. They can sit there, have their little pee, say G'day and chat about make-up or guitar players or whatever. Yeah??

Strangely, every women I mention this to, thinks it is a stupid idea. That's because they're repressed, I reckon. Young children don't mind. Teach them when they're young.